EP Review: BLM 002, Daniel Thomas, Indie Music News

Today’s review - Black Light Mutants. I clicked on the name in my email system. I waited in anticipation for a mutant spam system to direct me to Jamaica to save my cousin from pirates. I remember the email now – Dear Frank, I am writing to you because I have been captured by pirates. Please send attach your card details and I’ll get back to you in due cause. Yours Sincerely – HSBC. Apparently! I’m now cousins with a bank. How can it get any worse? Well! it can’t. Black Light Mutants…..make me happy. REVIEW TIME:

We start with the track – Wish.

I once asked for a wish once; my cousin was never saved from them pirates.

The track walked past me in the street. It had a style unbeknown to the world and it surroundings. I liked its style, so I asked it if I could be his friend. He rejected my request and broke into a car. Suddenly! The police arrived at the scene. Someone had tipped them off. It was Simon Cowell and his merry men/Louie Walsh. The police pushed the track against the car, while the track shouted – FUCK YOU MAINSTREAM MUSIC!

Rate – 9/10

Make Up – I once wore make-up…..my girlfriend decided to smear lipstick on me.

One minute and thirteen seconds of pure orgasmic pleasure. This track would beat Nigella Lawson in a talking competition. The vocals are quick and aggressive like the programme – Loose Women and the drummer hits the beats like its 1970 and the drugs are flying round. Can I some more, please?

Rate – 8/10

Walls – are all around us. Just look at all the CCTV cameras.

This time, the track smashed through my window and sat down on my couch. He had nearly missed an episode of Top Gear. I decided to get the track a nice cup of tea, but he threw it back in my face and asked for a double Vodka and Coke. This track should really have an ASBO or be in court for GBH.

Rate – 9/10

Love Yourself – XFactor.

I would accompany this song with a riot situation. We’d be running at Gordon Brown and asking for our money back. The vocals would piss against Westminster; the drummer would punch a beat into the wall of despair and the guitarists would provide the notes to satisfy the masses.

Rate – 8/10

Fairy Lights – Christmas time, mistletoe and grime.

Someone’s whispering in my ear. Who the fuck is that? The vocalist? I’ll let him off then. I thought that a priest was behind me for a minute then. Back to the song – the drummer deserves a medal. His change in pitch and tone would ultimately divert my attention from watching the Jeremy Kyle show.

Rate – 10/10

Complimanix – goodbye.

The last song on the EP summed up the entire situation – you’re in for one hell of a ride with Kate Moss. The tracks are grafted with expertise and the team consume the instruments and bounce off each other’s ideas.

Overall – I love this EP – 9/10

Daniel Thomas

http://indiemusicnews.info/ep-review-black-light-mutants-002/